I Was In Deep Trouble

I was always asking why my life is so messed up, crying myself to sleep every night always thinking to myself that I had no one to care for me, not even family…. a lot of years in pain and in sorrow, evening wanting to take my own life… always complaining about everything and I mean everything. If someone had just watched me too harsh and I didn’t like it I would have complained about it to someone and stressing over it causing myself to get stomach ulcers and a lot more illness, I used to complain about my family so much, the way how they were treating me and the way we used to live….. But then there was something holding me keeping me from death and the devil…. that something was someone which was and is God…. He took control of my life on the 02/11/08. Well actually He was always in control but on that day I actually started to surrender to Him to allow Him be a part of my life. After doing that and getting to know Him he started to talk to me showing me why all these things happened in my life, when I thought everything was wrong in my life God had a perfect plan for my life. Even the most horrible things in life he had a great reason for it just I was looking at the worse to come from it and that’s what made it horrible for me. I looked at the bad in every situation and caused myself a lot of horrible years not days but years…. of pains… But then when I started to give my life to God things became better… When He told me that “all things work together for Good to them that love the Lord,” I started to see all the Good that came from my horrible past. He showed me that if He had allowed me to go the way where I wanted to and not His was I would have been either dead, pregnant or have 2 or 3 kids or worse off than now…..  He showed me that even death have a reason… so there is always something good to come from a situation where you might think it’s bad,  we just have to pray about it and trust that God has made everything good in His own timing. I didn’t pay attention to God at the beginning and I had to burn to learn but at the end I still end up with the victory because I allowed God to take control of my life. Now it takes a lot for me to complain about something, my family is not perfect, my life is still not perfect, I still have struggles everyday but i battle with them by putting them in the hands of the Lord, He takes care of everything just leave it up to Him, remember when you are down to nothing He’s up to something…. remember it’s better to put trust in The Lord than to put confidence in man.. I burnt to lean this…. I tried to put all my trust in humans looking for attention from them and at the end of everyday I was hurt because they let me down. God is so great we just have to learn to listen with our hearts when He is speaking to up, put all your trust in Him serve Him and all would be well, if He took me from close to Hell so can he do for anyone… Life is what you make it, the choices we make. We have the choice to choose our path, so choose wisely and the best way to choose wisely is praying about it asking God’s opinions and His way is ALWAYS the best way… for I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18…. We suffer because Christ suffered ……JOHN 15:20Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.




I am from the beautiful country of Trinidad and Tobago, home of the best Carnival the world has to offer. I am from a very poor background and I think were the poorest in our village. When I look back on my life I can see that there is an invisible being who have been guiding my life and bringing me to where I am today. Even though life has been tough at times I was like a baby going through the stages of growth and the parent (the invisible hand) being there to brace my falls so I would not be hurt really bad. Both parents left us when I the oldest sibling was 16 years old. I migrated to the US in 1990 and I was never satisfied with a life of working at a regular job, I know there are better opportunities.

Posted in Blog
One comment on “I Was In Deep Trouble
  1. Sarah says:

    this is deep and is quite an inspiration……

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: